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Sep 5, 2013

Kixeye.com and Facebook: A threat to all children for gaming.

Over the last year, I have watched these chats, and often replies from the company itself condones the behavior of the chats as part of the game, when in fact there is a lot of malicious activity that occurs to personal lives of children, even real life fighting. These games are purported to be free, but there is obvious competition in who can outspend the other person, and then when someone won't spend money on the game, then the ruthless attacks begin. Below are some images that even Kixeye cannot deny comes from their war commander game. These players are brutal when the other players won't coin, and in fact in some of the observation, they would have spent thousands in the war itself with all the repairs they seem to instantly make all the time.

As a society, parents should know what their children are up to on the internet with games, and yes there are some pretty young children on these games.They see this activity first-hand and some even start to chime in on the activity after a while. If we are so concerned about the nature of our children hurting others, or getting ideas from the gaming environment that will potentially spill past that environment in schools, and at home. Is it a surprise that children are telling other children they should kill themselves, or is this becoming a common-place activity via gaming environments with no oversight, checks, or balances to these systems. I would imagine that Kixeye would say to report this kind of behavior to make itself look better, but in fact many do, and no response back on tickets, or if there is a response at all, its just part of the game. Below are some pictures taken today from the game chat, and this is pretty light for the chat in these games.



I want to encourage parents to watch their children and know what they are being exposed to online. Fighting has occurred outside the game in real life over conflicts that developed in the game. People with these games add each other, but fail to even look at who they are, how old they are, and most just add them without further questions asked.
Here is a snapshot of Kixeyes Website:


These are the kixeye games so parents can be more aware of what they are playing, and to keep them away from these companies, and players.


Aug 21, 2013

Federal Judge OK's Sexual harrassment, Peer Abuse, and Violations of Civil Rights in any school.


The saddest "opinion" of a judge comes to light via a lawsuit against St. Mary's school in Fond du Lac, Wis.. A valid question would be why we send our children to an environment which is clearly in need of overhaul, and not safe for students to attend and get an education? These schools are prison's for students to be abused and schools who have little or no repercussions from transpiring safety issues. Granted, this young man took quite a bit of abuse, and one would expect him to stand up for himself, but not in the eyes of the court. If your child stands up for themselves, they are at a loss in the eyes of the court, and  Federal Judge Stadtmueller . One could ask why these students abuse in the first place, drugs, home life, or the upper class that pay their way, and they get off scott-free. 

To make a point of how bad this judge is, he went so far as to make an opinion, one without much thought or merit to his trivial line of questioning, but in the end condoned that schools cannot stop this, and as such it should happen without any recourse whatsoever for the child or family. The family has had vandalism to their home, and a community of wealthy Catholics that condone the abusive behavior.


This at a time when Catholics are known from the past for abuses on children, and this school just makes it look all the worse. This federal judge has just ultimately said that you do not have civil rights, and if they are violated, that it is blatantly OK to do so. Why this judge still presides is beyond me, as he is not looking after the interests of the people. Ok, so these kids don't have civil rights, which means that everything to date that was fought for was all for nothing, and apparently those in power think the same. Every organization that deals with Anti-Bullying, or deals with civil rights, rape, sexual abuse, child abuse, etc. needs to take note of this, and parents need to rethink about home-schooling there children. We are living in a country where schools are no longer safe for a child to attend school.


According to US History.org and Judge Scalia "if they abandon their role as careful and cautious interpreters of the Constitution, they become unelected legislators. According to Justice Antonin Scalia, "The Constitution is not an empty bottle....It is like a statute, and the meaning doesn't change." Despite the debate over what constitutes the appropriate amount of judicial power, the United States federal courts remain the most powerful judicial system in world history. Their power is enhanced by life terms for judges and justices, and they play a major role in promoting the core American values of freedom, equality, and justice."

I don't know, but maybe this judge has lost touch with reality, maybe he doesn't care. I am going to post some of the news articles below. I hope the family appeals to get justice for N.K. and the treatment the judge admits he took while in school. If you have a child who attends these Catholic schools, I would start asking questions of your children, because apparently these schools have a lot to hide, but don't worry they will not be made to answer for any of it.


This case involved racial slurs, unwanted touches, teasing, harassment on Facebook, and slurs over his perceived sexual orientation.


References:
American Government, (2013). The Power of the Federal Courts. Retrieved from: http://www.ushistory.org/gov/9e.asp

Articles:

Apr 17, 2013

Spirituality

I often wonder about spirituality, like times when I listen to music, and allow my very soul to move to the beat. It is not easy for people to feel free, to do what feels good to them, and to just let there hair down "per say". Some have figured out that you do not need to go to church to feel spiritual, and even some that do feel like at the end of a sermon, that they love what was said, but do they follow it truly?

This reminds me of back when I was a child, happy, carefree, no burdens, and yet somehow I was the happiest person in the world. Today, you might say, that I have four children, bills from here to there to pay, and work my life away. In the end, does any of that count, sure. It matters that your children were raised up, allowed to fall down, allowed to make mistakes, and most importantly that you gave your entire self for the greater good of your family, and those you love and keep close to you.

Many wander in life not knowing, but what is it to truly feel, to live in a time and place that you feel openly passionate about what you do, you, yourself. Do those around you feel the same way, did you help them in life, did you pick them up when they fall down, did you take the time to show them how they to can be happy. What if you did? What if everyday you took the time to dance with your daughter when they are 3 years old and up, or your son? What if everyday, you took the time to notice those around you that are down and out in life, and shared what you have learned?

What about children that are getting abused in school, abused at home, or abused in some way period. Do they also not have the right to feel free, to feel as if they can learn and grow, without dad or mom hitting them to make themselves feel better? What did you just show your child? You showed your child how to be broken in life. You showed your child that when they fall down that they are bad people and deserve to feel like they are worthless, maybe you belittled them, or degraded them openly in front of others, and maybe you felt better for a moment, then later you thought that what you did makes you feel guilty? Chances are that is likely the case, but there are those parents who care little to nothing about the children they brought on the earth, as the children are property, and viewed this way. Some families view the father as the disciplinarian rather than spending time with the child. Hopefully, that child will grow up to change this cycle, so that there children don't have to endure it.

Memories are all we have, and when the emotions get so out of control that it creates dis-regulation for the family, then they want to blame the system for something that is broken down, when they caused the break down in the first place. They often do not see the child as a person, someone that needs time and patience to see and understand the ways of the world. Often parents are so busy, that they figure the best way to put a child in line is to hit or abuse them. When it comes to abuse in school, now your children that you have abused feel free to take it out on others weaker than them, and not all children are seen as weaker, they are tall and gentle giants, they are nice and courteous to others, most of what we want for our kids to grow up like. Yet some plant the seed in their children that says violence is the answer. If we are to do this type of mentality, then of course children are going to be continually harmed in schools, and of course they will continually get sued, and if no settlement is reached, you as a parent can be sued for the actions of your child if they win by trial jury.

I am sure you believe in world peace, just like everyone else does, so why create violence on someone who cannot defend themselves. Are you truly happy, or is your inner self and spirit broken. If so, why has it come to be this way? I absolutely loved to spend time with my children, dance with them, and see there wonder come out with the world. When they are teens, it gets harder and harder to spend time with them in the same way as when they are young, they developed a mind and use it, and sometimes are embarrassed by mom and dad, or feel that way.

When you decided to get married and said your vows, did they mean anything to you, or do you feel like you must beat them to make them your slave in life, and to do what you say? Are you really happy? Ask yourself what makes you happy, and none of us are perfect, but in the end, what are you setting as an example, not only to your family, but everyone around you? Sure there are going to be those around you that are absolutely miserable, and maybe they haven't figured out what life is about, maybe they had a terrible childhood and cannot get past it. Maybe, just maybe if those of us who have figured it out, share that with others, then just maybe this world will find peace, love, and harmony.

Guys, when I was married, I knew I was not happy, but due to circumstances we had to make it work for the kids's sake.  Are you doing the same? Trust me, my kids today know that divorce was the best thing to happen, and for good reason, and they are happy for me, and even accept it. When, I find the person I want to be with, her very being is something I want to entrench myself in, give without question, trust without knowing, and to always feel like I can never know enough about her. Many in this world get married based on a feeling and have children, then divorce when life gets boring, or when times just get to tough and they run away. Then in the end, everyone is bitter, hate each other. If that is what you wish to do, that is fine. I tend to think that we are looking for someone who is able to compromise, able to discuss things rationally, even dance or hold us close just because they want to show us they love us.

If I found the right one, there would never be a question of the love we would have, and I would allow my entire spirit to intertwine with hers always. Even if you never get married, does that mean that inside you forgot who you are? No. We often push aside what we really wanted in life to find a false happiness with money, or a career we are not really satisfied with, but make good money. These things in life cause us to be miserable.

When I had a spiritual awakening one night, I began to see that life is in motion, and we as humans who are so miserable that we lash out at each other, simply didn't seem important anymore. My life changed in a new direction, and I know that something occurred that gave me a purpose. In life we never stop learning, never stop maturing, and we're always there in times of need for the ones we hold close.

In the end, I will truly be able to say, I loved enough, I gave enough, I shared enough, and I have no regrets. We cannot take money with us where we go, we cannot take a mansion with us where we go, our spirit is the only thing to go. So, ask yourself is your spirit deep down really happy, is your partner in life spirit happy, and what about those you hold close to you. Believe me, I wont tell you how to live your life, but as long as I live I will be truly set free, because, there is nothing in this world that can cause me to feel down again, and when I began to see how that felt, I knew I could have an impact on others. God bless.

Apr 9, 2013

My Inspiration

In the last 5 years many children and there parents looked to me for help, and received help, but everytime I go into the field, I find that they are my inspiration. The ultimate love they have for their child when they are hurt or down gives me hope that there is an untapped potential in society. Those parents get to the point where they will walk to the end of the earth for there child. Would you as a parents. School bullying is not an easy task, in fact we know its a very hard road to try and navigate, and schools do not make it easy either for a parent to get answers or help. I have dedicated my life to answering there question, and it has been a pleasure, but what comes after that is simply amazing in their transformation. I look to how your family grows, and flourishes after my visit, and warms my heart to see a peace return to your family, and the true resolve you have to see it through. Sometimes, the only way to correct what has been done is the court system.

This is no easy task, and never is. Hours of documentation, listening to facts and events from your child, seeing the hurt they carry, trying to keep oneself composed, and ultimately feeling the effects of it in the end. Some parents get so angry and frustrated, that the first order of business before I can even look at what they have is to help them step outside of the situation and calm them down. I will be frank in saying, that it is not easy to see your child hurt every single day, and sometimes coping with that is not easy to do, but the stress it adds to the child doesn't help matters. Once that occurs, I am able to help the family find closure, and sometimes that means that I need to sit with the school, the parent, and discuss options, and bring to light all that is occurring. Sometimes administrations are aware, and sometimes they are not, but there is no excuse for allowing a child to be tortured in or out of a school environment.

One of the highlights of my life, was being able to meet these families and travel all over the state of Iowa, and even some other states when I can. Truth be told, it should never have to happen at all, but when you have a broken system, and kids feel free to rule the school, you tend to find more of this occurring, more books being written, more abuse that in time add to the already broken system. The public is footing the bill for every child who successfully wins a case, regardless of a law, yet they turn there head and say "kids will be kids". I have said in the past that the amount of the damage society is causing is going to soar in the mental health system for fixing the problems that are occurring to these young children, and over time you can bet you bill to the state is going to get heavier in cost, and in 30 years talk about tripling your cost, just imagine that.

Feb 25, 2013

PTSD

Have you experienced PTSD?
What is PTSD?
PTSD symptoms are more than described in the DSM IV-TR, but for purposes of the DSM it only lists the more common major symptomology.

These symptoms are:

Flashbacks
Fear, Helplessness, Horror
Avoidance or shutting off of emotions
Audible remembrance of an event (Gunfire, explosions)
Difficulty sleeping (REM disruption)
Intrusive thoughts, images, or perceptions
Distressing dreams of event(s)
Acting and feeling as if the distressing event was recurring
Illusions, hallucinations, and dissociative flashbacks
Triggers (internal or external) that cause psychological distress
Physiological reactivity to the cues from a traumatic event
Avoiding thoughts, feelings, or conversations associated with trauma
Avoiding activities or areas, including people that arouse recollection of the trauma
Inability to recall an important aspect of the trauma
Diminished interest or participation in activities
Feeling detached or estraged from others
Restricted range of affect (e.g. not being able to feel love)
Sense of a foreshortened future ( not expecting to have a career, children, marriage, or shortened life span)
Irritability or anger
Difficulty concentrating
Hypervigilance
Exaggerated Startle Response
May impair ability to work, be social, or other areas of functioning

Acute is less than 3 months
Chronic is more than 3 months
Delayed onset means that the symptoms appear 6 months after the stressor.


There is much more of course for symptoms, rapid heart rate, flushing or tingling of the skin after a flashback, you get the idea. 

The picture above was created after being treated for PTSD, and I think it explains itself for the most part, but here is just a brief overview. This is depicting one capsule related to several traumas in a point in time, there can be several capsules with different traumas, or as some call it Complex PTSD.

The picture represents stages that take place when a person encounters PTSD related to flashbacks, feelings, emotions, and thoughts. At the beginning, the person may not realize they have PTSD, but they know something is intrusive or cannot stop visualizing it in the mind, largely scattered, and may not be intrusive all the time. The second stage is a little bit more organized, but is largely unconnected and can be intermittent, emotion related to the event is more pronounced, and the third stage, the person has lived with it long enough for organization to occur of the memories, flashbacks, thoughts and emotions that are attached. If you have any questions feel free to email me at pkefdr@aol.com.

For those of you living with PTSD, I hope you are able to find a psychologist with the training on EMDR Eye Movement Desensitization Reprocessing, and while you cannot get rid of it, you can learn to tag the memories so they exist only in long term memory and they are no longer intrusive in your daily life, in your dreams, or when your overtired. PTSD is not the end, it is your new beginning to life, and happiness that you can again experience.



Feb 20, 2013

Education Reform, Republicans should be ashamed!

As I watched the debate of education reform, I expected some things to get challenged by opponents on the Republican side of the aisle; however, it turned out to be a my way republican party standing and to heck with what you think would improve a bill that does nothing anyways to help the schools or the children. At any rate, I was plain disgusted with the lack of bipartisan effort to come to compromise on these amendments, while it was only mentioned once that they would work with the other party on one amendment. The rest the gentleman from Woodbury did nothing but convince his party to resist on all of the amendments, and challenge the germane of other amendments. Listening to the spoken nay and ayes towards suspending the rules it was hard to tell who had it, yet right away it was always the nays that have it so that it could be still debated.

I felt bad for all the hard work the democrats did to get informed and make meaningful amendments that were simply tossed out. At the beginning of the debate for Mental Health Appropriations, all was going well there was I admit good debate, but that soon lost its flavor as republicans dug into their trench, acting as if there is some casualty that will occur, and is necessary in the transition to the regional instead of by county. They wanted 11.6 million dollars and stood firmly to it, even though they know thousands (up to 1,000 in one county, children 700 and adults near 300) would go without services and no funding for that county.

I agree with the closing statement concerning the disgust in the behavior of our elected officials, and I expect so much better from them. Are we doing the right thing to let down the Iowans who need the funds, and if these regions have left-over funds why not disperse it to places that need it, and that was not even talked about. The fact that the DHHS of Iowa, and the state cannot even arrive at the same numbers, only a start for reorganization is troubling. I think the democrats did a great deal of leg work on their end, but unfortunately it came down to a wasted session, with both bickering, and nonsense from the republican side.

No doubt in the near future as the house gets the Education bill back from the senate, the gloves will come off, and a boxing match will ensue over what is added or taken away through the senate process. As constituents, I think I would rather support the democrats who are fighting to gain some momentum for schools, education that makes sense, and even the governor was spat in the face on his proposals, and all of them common sense.

The creativity in my opinion, is constantly being stripped from schools as we teach to the test, employ technology to assist students, and turn out children that are unable to enter the workforce. Most college instructor know newer out of school students are performing poorly in math, I have seen this in class.

Are we going the wrong direction, well it was mentioned several times we may be doing just that. Compared to Finland taking absolutely no assessments, and our country adding assessments more and more, which I know from college hurt minorities, because those tests are far from perfect. Sure you can gauge the white population pretty effectively, check for deficits, etc. but putting stock into assessment of IQ, etc. doesn't tell you a whole lot except how a child is doing at one point in time.

Finland doesn't do assessments, so we cannot even compare our children to that country, because the only basis we have to compare is educational achievement, and I didn't hear a lot about their curriculum.

The topic of teachers pay will not likely succeed at the 35,000 that was requested, as new teachers get a hiring bonus to help with college debt, which means they get paid more than the most tenured and highest performing teachers.

Since only Rep. Hunter and the Representative from Woodbury are the only ones who seem to speak for their party line, I wonder next time will you offer your support to help with the amendments, or are we so entrenched in partisan politics, that it is the republican way or no way at all. Representative Hunter, the thousands impacted by Mental Illness may be nothing to you, which you made blatantly apparent, but it is meaningful to them and their families for support in the communities.

I remember not to long ago, the sandy hook shooting on the news, and other tragedies, but with the Republican side so entrenched, they seem to struggle with this issue, when we have the ability to fund our system of Mental Health here in Iowa appropriately.

I normally do not favor a party, but the democrats Mascher, Steckman, Wood, and others fought hard to get change accomplished for both education and Mental Health. In my opinion, the only ones fighting for Iowans at this point is the Democrats. I encourage Iowans to watch what is going on in the house, its a real eye-opener.

Jan 5, 2013

CAABI pulls support for H.F. 2444

During the summer sparked by protests of Kenneth James Weishuhn's and other suicides that happened, we had the opportunity to review the states new bill called H.F. 2444 in Iowa. After some review of the bill, it became apparent that there is little concern with detainment of parents who are actively looking to work with the schools, and counseling is a part of the bill that has issues, or a lack of presence. The concern of the state seems to be one of locking people up, no times on community service, which opens the door to corrupt judges and DA's to set what they wish for punitive time. There are vague issues in the bill that we cannot support at this time, and we will not even list it on our site. Parents should do active research on this bill, to ensure you know where you stand when and if it passes the house and senate as it stands. I do not agree with government issuing licenses to punish that are like open-ended checks that are blank for the DA or court to write in what they feel is appropriate. It starts off at 40 hours and no mention of time-frame thereafter (your open check is blank, write what you want there). I view this as irresponsible activity stemming from the house of representatives, and view the bill as a slapped together bunch of wording. We encourage the state to continue to seek input on the bill but, as it stands, we cannot support it the way it is written. We are always for something that stands to improve the educational environment, but this does nothing to punish would-be violators of children in the school environment, and while many say hold the parent responsible, which has merit to it, the child should also be held accountable equally for abuses committed against another child victim.
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