Apr 13, 2009

The troubled mind.
Written in 1995

My mind is troubled
the pain has doubled
images of all this stuff in my head
forces a huge dilemma of what was said.

Thoughts of suicide haunt
to avoid those that hit and taunt
I wisk myself out the door
not wanting to think anymore

I find images and more
the rustling of the school and backpacks
those that taunt me so
come to mind and don't let go

I want to be set free of my mind
to be helpful, outgoing and kind
It grasps me tight, and sucks me in
to see the torture that is within

What would it be like, how would I feel
to feel as if I didn't have all this at the wheel
It drives a rage deep inside me
One I hope no one ever has to see

Off I walk in the forest to lay and think
to think of those that push me to the brink
Small and afraid I plea in might
there has to be someone to hold me tight

Push away those that scared me senseless
so that I may develop my senses
Daily I take this, and wince in pain
Silent at all times, I strain

Holding on to that last whim of hope
How do I find the strength to try and cope
What do I do tomorrow that will set me free
I guess I will have to wait and see.

Kids that walk about and smile, yet they hold something very painful inside, that of which staff sometimes doesn't see happen, yet boils like a rage inside, and at somepoint toward the end they are trying to make a decision, with no hope, and no light for them to see at the end of that tunnel. They feel trapped, and do the worst thing imaginable. Kids write when they feel this way, but not all kids will. Encouraging your child to be open in the family can prevent so much of this type of tragedies. I hope that the poems help bring to light how these kids feel, empty, hopeless, helpless, and many other words that they think all of the time, and yet they will continue to take what is going on, until it is to late. Parents take the innitiative to know your child, or it could be your last time of knowing them. Educate yourself, and know more on this bullying topic.