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Feb 15, 2009

The bare relationship

Have you ever found your relationship or marriage just wasn't what it used to be. This year has sparked many seperations by many married and unmarried couples. Some of the root cause is the economy, economic stress that fuels the already burdened relationship. People that find that their spouse has left in the past, and seperated for a while will also see them doing so now, due to the stress that they will try to avoid.
You know it is time to move on when:
Your spouse has cheated.
You have trust issues.
Your Emotionally Disconnected.
You have thought about ending the marriage many times.
Your spouse comes home later than usual.

For most they start to see a pattern develop, as most are very familiar with the other person, sometimes for many years. Emotional and other distresses can bring out the worst in people, but you need to know when enough is enough. How much a person will allow for stress in their life, and is a root cause of many unstable families. I find that many who date for a months time really don't know each other, just common external attraction. A relationship is based around trust and stability. If the partner becomes unstable, counseling can help, but when you lose trust to issues like cheating, or affairs, then their is very little left to salvage. For one, a person who cheats can and will be prone to do so again. Some parents find they stay together for the kids sake, but then later ask themselves who they are kidding in doing this. The children end up losing in this arrangement. Couples that also cannot seperate peacefully harm the children psychological well being, and the he said she said becomes a problem with new partners that form.

If a person thinks about seperating, they cannot just up and do so, without at least attempting everything possible to salvage the relationship. Failure to do so, will result in a lapse back into the relationship. A person has to know on the way out, that they did everything possible and there is no way to fix what is broken, and not even bother to look back.

Don't kid yourself, and get to know the person, and avoid the looks part of a person, although it is nice for that too. The mentality of the partner has to be one of support, trust, and no prior issues of affairs. Take your time, and really get a look at how they run their life, and what they do that may cause issues for you in a possible relationship. If people jump into relationships, they get bit, and their are those few who found love at first site, but most get bit in the end and end up bitter.

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